I love u so much, but how much do u know or understand?

Its been awhile. But I needed time. i have largely held off writing something. Or even anything. There’s actually quite a fair bit, but I genuinely have no idea where to start. I didn’t exactly want to do this. To write another essay. Honestly, I dread this. I needed time to sort out my feelings. I needed time to think abt what and how I wanted to write. Actually many a time, writing has become a way to put my feelings across; I am not that good at face to face confrontations. Or speaking, for that matter. U said you wanted the ugly truth. In a way, this is me giving it, or sharing It with you. I think, its come to a point, I need to. If we don’t sort this out now. We will never be happy. Disclaimer. The words may, or will sting. Salty language included. Not the first time that you have not allowed me to speak uninterrupted and when you get pissed off, you just hang up. In that sense, from my perspective, I have no chance to say anything. And times I ca...

绝对不想伤害别人。更不想伤害自己。 有口难言。写又写不出。只有蒙在心里。quietly sit in the corner. or just lay curled up in bed hoping the pain will dissipate soon.

my head is so heavy. my heart hurts like hell. tears flow like crazy but nobody knows how much i fell. there are no other avenues to write my stuff. no hard way to express myself there is no one to listen. i am so tired from crying. and it will eventually heal. the deep scars left will remind me that we once shared something so beautiful so strong for this short time. we held each other in our arms so tight for this short time, i got to kiss u, dote on on and love u so bright. now u have made up yr mind to go. our love can no longer as one, flow. u took a huge part of me with you. and now i have suffered this blow. Perhaps to u i still owe a debt. and hence thru the karma system this is how i am paying u back. i love u baby. so much. i can try no longer. i can try no more. it hurts so much so much. just allow me to slowly bleed and heal. i will in time recover. and i wont bother u no more. i m so sorry so so sorry i will always love u. and part of my heart will a...

My Darling Knowing your pattern, i have no other way to ensure that the words i write to you make it to you, since you delete my stuff without reading. I can't talk to you since you are not willing to listen, not at least in this state of mind. At least here, in this permanent space, i can ensure that it stays as i intended, hoping that at some point, your anger will subside enough to @ least take a look. You probably wouldn't care, as far as i am concerned, you have been it very clear to me there is no chance between us if i lie or keep things from you. In my own defense, for the sake of my love for you, for myself, i feel i have the responsibility to at least share my version of the story. If you read this, or bother enough to. If you never do, then the fact is that I would have tried already. And if you don't have the patience to try to perhaps understand the situation as it is, and not how you see it. Then, siao liao lor. I am able to write calmly like this no...